Bereavement

Bereavement is a natural process we go through when someone close to us dies or leaves. Each of us will experience loss and grief in our own unique way. Some people will experience very intense and overwhelming emotions, whilst others may react in a less “conventional” manner.

When we lose someone close to us it is normal to feel a range of emotions such as: Sadness, Despair, Fear, Denial, Guilt, Loneliness and Anger. Grief is a painful process, but it is a process that helps us come to terms with our loss.

People cope with grief differently; this can reflect the manner and type of death of the deceased person. Often the age of the deceased and the manner of the death (sudden or expected) are important factors.

Symptoms of bereavement

• Sleep disturbances
• Appetite disturbances
• Numbness, disbelief, hallucinations, confusion.
• Social Withdrawal
• Obsession with the deceased- searching and calling out
• Sighing
• Dreams
• Restlessness

There may be an extended longing for the person to return and an inability to accept the loss. If the relationship was problematic, the loss can result in difficult feelings such as anger or guilt. Counselling help can help the individual make sense of these feelings.

The main tasks of mourning are:

• To accept the reality of the loss.
• To work through the pain of loss.
• To adjust to life without the deceased.
• To emotionally relocate the deceased and move on with life.

Seeking help

Bereavement counselling may helpful for those who are finding it difficult to come to terms with their loss. Often people suppress their grief and this can lean to problems with depression and leave the deceased stuck in the grieving process. Or it can be helpful to share the loss with someone who is not personally connected to the bereaved person.
 

How counselling may help:

• Offer an understanding of the mourning process
• Help you understand difficult feelings
• Offer support
• Explore areas that may be stopping you moving on with life
• Help you adjust to a life without the deceased

Content written by Karen Dyer MBACP in 2010. The content is for general information only and may or may not relate to your individual situation. Lakeside counselling Weston Super Mare